Scott Smallwood

You’re tired of the same old, same old. In looking at the results you continue to get, you’ve moved beyond dissatisfaction, sitting now squarely on the seat of acceptance or even depression. Doubt and fear are no longer part of the equation for you because you have simply resigned yourself to the fact that unhappiness, feeling unfulfilled, incomplete, & self sabotaged are your lot in life.

Fear is one of the most daunting reasons that contributes to our seeming inability to move ahead. Fear holds us hostage in a variety of ways. Especially this week, the fear of not having enough money has us, as a country, wrapped up and shrinking in fear. Fear of losing our homes, life savings, retirement benefits - has millions of us shaking like leaves on a windy autumn afternoon.

Fear comes in other ways and in other areas that seem just as real. Fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of ridicule are all ways that hold women back from becoming the women they really long to be…the women they, perhaps as a little girls, saw themselves becoming: desired, successful, fulfilled.

In examining the issue and root cause of fear, I have discovered a very common source - low self esteem. As I hear from or talk to women from every corner and slice of life, it seems that most of them have problems with low self esteem - lack of confidence in themselves. It is chronic, debilitating and can paralyze any woman into believing that she will never be good enough and that she doesn’t deserve more than she currently has.

My message to women who struggle with low self esteem is that they ARE valuable and that working on their self esteem is what they NEED to do – this is of utmost importance in their lives.

Loud and clear, I want women to get the message that they truly deserve to be happy, successful and to feel fulfilled.

The other critical message I strive to convey is that the change you want in your life starts with a decision. By this I mean that I can accompany women on their journeys and to getting their lives back on track, but the ultimate first step must come from them! The tag lines, “Just do it” or “The only way to change is to make it happen” come to mind.

I want you to know that YOUR journey will be extremely gratifying and, once accomplished, will seem like magic!

I have GREAT news for you! In order to help you get started on your amazing journey to the life YOU desire, I recently wrote two eBooks:

How to Become the Queen of Self Esteem

And

Discover YOUR True Beauty.

Those kept me pretty busy but, at the same time, I also worked on a very exciting offer to go along with them. To find out about the eBooks AND the special offer, just click on the images of the books above.

Enjoy the discovery!

TAKE that first step!

YOU are worth it!

I’m sure I’m not the only guy who gets a bur in his saddle when having to wait (and wait and wait) in traffic. Have you ever noticed how even when the light turns green, it takes forever to begin moving forward?

Recently I was sitting at an intersection and in traffic, already late for an appointment. I found myself about third or fourth in line to move on once the light turned green. Again, as is always the case, when the traffic signal finally turned green, traffic seemed to continue standing still. As I craned my neck to see ahead, I noticed a large gap or space between the car in front of me and the truck in front of him. Sitting there stewing, I wondered why the guy in front of me continued to leave such a large gap of space between him and the truck.

Putting on my cap of rationality, I thought to myself that surely the guy in front of me could figure out that if he would just pull his car forward, we could all proceed through the intersection before the green light of freedom turned red. I was hoping that I had misjudged what appeared to be a not-to-bright and inconsiderate driver.

After what seemed like an eternity, we all moved forward through the intersection. I was then able to see that the truck up ahead of me was pulling a long, low-rising trailer! Because of this trailer in tow, the car in front of me was not able to close the gap in the line of traffic – the act that I was so impatiently urging him to do.

Although I was in too big a hurry to think of it at the time, I later reflected on how often I have made an assumption or a decision without considering the bigger picture. Many times in my life God seemed to not answer my prayer or else he responded in a way that I simply couldn’t see at the time.

Things are usually not the way they appear to be.

Here’s another example. We can allow ourselves to become angry when we fail to get a response to an important phone call we placed. However, perhaps the person we called never got the message. Or perhaps they had a family emergency. Who knows, there could be lots of reasons why the results that seem so logical to us fail to happen or fail to happen when we think they should.

Let’s (myself included!) try to consider the bigger picture – the possibility of unseen circumstances - before we choose to react one way or another.

In other words – give others the benefit of the doubt.

For the last two years I have found myself pouring over the Sunday ads from Best Buy, Circuit City, et al, foaming at the mouth over the new great choices in high definition television sets.

Last week, after fifteen years of putting up with a TV that I actually bought “used,” we happily took the old girl to our local recycle center, said a prayer of thanksgiving over her (I mean, I was in love with her for 13 of the 15 years we had together!) and sent her to that great TV shop in the sky. Then, in a cloud of smoke, we happily sped to our electronics store of choice and stepped into the world of high definition television.

What a difference! Watching a program in high def makes the experience a real joy. I wonder why we waited so long to make the move! Even channels that do not broadcast in HD are still exponentially clearer than our old set. My wife and I are not big TV buffs, but have admittedly spent a bit more of our down time enjoying our new toy and all its options and capabilities.

This blog post almost writes itself because the similarities between my TV experience and my coaching message are so striking. For the past few years I kept the old set around, even though I could have bought a new and better one had I chosen to. Looking back, I justified keeping the old TV around because I believed it was “good enough” or that I couldn’t afford to buy a new one – at least not the one I wanted.

So I settled for less than stellar picture quality and pretended not to notice or mind the sub par picture as I watched some of my favorite shows. I made excuses for keeping something that I no longer wanted and that no longer served me.

When YOU finally decide to take action -when YOU are worn out from the old or the present circumstances in YOUR life -like magic, things will begin to brighten.

This is true not just in TV Land, but in lives!

Don’t keep old beliefs that no longer serve you…don’t justify holding onto beliefs that keep you in the same old spot…don’t settle for less than you desire….stop pretending that all is well if it isn’t!

Go ahead and decide to throw out your old programming that no longer gives you anything but a blurry picture. Get a new remote control. YOU are in charge of YOU.

Try it.

I dare you.

I promise you’ll like the new “High Definition” you!

Earlier this spring, my wife, Ginny, and I drove to the home of a friend in order to get some wood chips to use in our landscaping projects. As we approached the closed gate, we noticed a chain draped around it. We momentarily paused, with all kinds of things popping into our minds. “How could Suzee forget to unlock the gate…we’ve come all this way for nothing. Whatta we do now?”

Mulling over all these thoughts, we soon began to get frustrated. Walking up to the gate (as if looking at it more closely would magically make the lock open!), to my surprise I noticed that the chain was not even locked! We swung open the gate, loaded our booty and laughed at our foolishness the whole way home!

During our lives we encounter many closed doors, brush covered paths and shuttered windows. Like Ginny and me, we often assume that they are locked up tight - we jump to conclusions before even trying to open them. We take the situation at face value and fill our minds with worry and fret before knowing the whole story.

We have the spirit of God within us. Amid our struggle and toil, we forget that God wants nothing but the highest good for every person. If we can train our mind not to believe that things are always the way they appear to be, then with God’s help, you will find that the gates of opportunity and abundance will swing open.

Matthew 7:7 plainly implores us to ask, knock and seek in order to get the things we want. When we accept things the way they appear to be, it’s like knocking on a neighbor’s door and immediately turning back around, without even waiting to see if they answer the door.

Keep knocking!

Keep pestering God until he answers your knock.

Just maybe he’s testing you to see just how badly you want a particular door to open itself to you! This is where most people make a key mistake. They assume that the gate is locked, that nobody is home, that God is not listening.

Don’t react according to appearances…keep knocking!

I remember watching old reruns of The Andy Griffith Show. Opie would complain about having to take a bath once a week — on Saturday nights. This is my all time favorite television series and I thought about one of those “Opie” episodes while our entire community was being bathed by tropical storm Fay. As all tropical storms or hurricanes in my part of the country do, Fay originated in the Caribbean. The warm ocean temperatures act as a feeding ground as these storms pick up speed and churn towards land, wreaking havoc with anything in their path.

While we were thankful that Fay did not reach hurricane strength, her fury felt very hurricane-like due to the minimal speed at which she was moving. The result of her hanging around land for such a long period of time was more water, more downed trees, more power outages and more of a pain in the neck.

Parts of my community of Tallahassee, FL received nearly 20 inches of rain during Fay’s uninvited stay with us in Florida’s Panhandle. In our part of town, I guess we’re “lucky” to only have been soaked with 11 inches of Fay’s honey. The fun part was being temporarily (thankfully only temporarily) without power during a typical humid and muggy Florida summer. Our house got toasty pretty quickly. The real fun started, though, the day Fay left town - when we were left with the debris clean up.

One bright spot for our neighborhood is that we have a lineman for the City of Tallahassee who lives on our street. Anytime we have a power outage, it seems Kenny gets us up and running ahead of many of the other needy customers whom he services during periods of inclement weather. Kenny hates to be without power as much as we do!

The lesson that kept running through my mind during this whole Fay experience is a passage of scripture I know I have held up to you before. It is one that I used quite often in ministering to my hospice patients. It talks to us right where we are in the human condition – where we often go through the storms and rising waters of life. I offer it again because it is one of my favorites and because we all need a life raft or preserver when troubling waters threaten to overtake us.

Fear not, for I have called you by name. You are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

How totally awesome and comforting is that passage from Isaiah? These are words that everyone can identify with. Who has not had struggles in life, where they felt the threatening rising water or fiery flames coming way too close?

God is good and is the true Source to turn to in times of trouble and strife. Offer gratitude for this.

God has gifted me with Honest To God Coaching which acts as a life preserver for women who feel the waters of life rising higher and higher. For this I am thankful!

As always, I enjoy hearing from you and for the opportunity to “throw you a line” when your storms are raging. Remember: all things come from God, but they come through other people.

And for all things, be grateful!

In our home, Friday night is always Date Night. It’s a set aside, formalized time of coming together for my wife Ginny and myself to give our work week a two day vacation. We always start by going out to one of our favorite restaurants, stuffing ourselves with some of our favorite foods and desserts while sharing events of our day.

If we happen to visit a restaurant that has booths for seating, we always make it a practice to sit on the same side. While we often draw questioning stares from our waitress or other patrons, this is an intentional ritual we practice in order to be as close and connected as possible.

Since we usually take in a movie or some form of live entertainment after our meal, often arriving back home rather late, I generally take our dog, Smokey, for a walk before we head out for the evening. Last Friday’s walk, however, turned out to be hugely out-of-the-ordinary and could have had a mouthful to do with changing the nature of that particular Date Night. (you’ll appreciate my choice of words after you read further!)

The Smoke and I often walk in a large wooded area behind our house that allows me to let her off the leash. She loves the freedom of running unfettered! As I removed the leash from Smokey’s collar, she immediately was drawn to a noise she heard in the brush. Walking over to see what was making her so incessantly focused, I immediately saw a huge snake peering back at us. It appeared not at all happy that it was Friday!

This was a kind of snake I had never seen before. It really got my attention when I noticed that it was 5-6” in diameter! Before Smokey and I hightailed it out of there, I had a brief chance to notice the distinct head shape and markings on the body of the snake. I fully intended to go online to see what kind of creature we had encountered (assuming, of course, that I actually made it home intact!).

Arriving back home and wiping away the effects of a late summer day (95 degree heat and 95% humidity), I booted up the computer and made a google search for snakes of North Florida. Quickly identifying our thick friend, my jaw nearly hit my kneecaps.

Here is what I found:

We had encountered one of Florida’s four poisonous snakes, a Cottonmouth, also known as a Water Moccasin. I can’t speak for Smokey, but I breathed a definite and immediate physical sigh of relief - thankful that we were not victims of the snake’s wrath.

I’m happy to say that Date Night lived on and I’m looking forward to our next one! (minus any snake encounters…)

The moral of today’s post?

• DO schedule special time on a regular basis with those you love. AND, don’t forget to also schedule “Me Time” for yourself!
• DON’T include an encounter with a snake (especially an extraordinarily huge and poisonous one) in your plans (I don’t suppose I really needed to tell you that!)

I actually had a tidy little message to offer about the start of the Olympic Games in Beijing, China. This blog was to be all about the joy I felt in watching the beautiful and extravagant opening ceremonies. This big inner smile I get is not so much from the pageantry of the ceremony as much as what it represents…the coming together of hundreds of nations, cultures and traditions…in an atmosphere of brotherhood and commonality. At the games, cultural and political differences seem to take a back seat to the pure joy we all experience every two years as the games commence.

Good story, right? Or, as my newspaper buddy likes to say, a “feel good” story.

Here’s an even better one…

Yesterday, my wife, Ginny, and I were invited to spend some informal and personal time with a patient of hers. This friend, whom I’ll call “Doris,” has terminal cancer and has just been admitted to hospice. With both of us being former hospice employees, Ginny and I could intuitively connect with Doris and her situation.

Doris’ body shows the residue of numerous radiation treatments – blackening skin, hair that is just now starting to return and a tube that protrudes from her chest cavity. Although the same age, Doris now looks twenty years older than her husband.

Doris tried hard not to show it but it was obvious to see that she was physically uncomfortable. However, it was also evident that Doris was enjoying the connection that our visit was bringing to her. Preferring not to emphasize her illness and its side effects, Doris spoke instead of her children, trips she and her husband had taken during earlier days of health and strength and her favorite recipes. She spoke of these things with great joy and intentionality. The smile and joy in her eyes and heart gave all gathered an indelible lesson.

Speaking for myself, the lesson learned was that even the ravages of a terminal disease cannot take away true contentment and peace. Growing and enriching the relationships of our lives cannot be bound in any way nor by anything. Even in its finality, the process of death can be every bit as wonderful as birth.

Over and over I talk to you about your ability to control your situations and the results you can achieve. Having a spirit of belief - of expectation - and taking action that creates abundance to flow into your life indeed are the keys to attaining the desires of your heart.

Each of us is living on borrowed time. Life is fleeting and temporary – this situation is out of our control. Although facing the struggles and challenges of life can cause us to want to “throw in the towel” at times, there is true joy in the aspects of life that really count. This is what we saw in Doris!

Not allowing ourselves to be overcome by life’s challenges - working through the “cancers” of our lives - and pressing on towards our goals are ways in which to truly enjoy the individual parts of life that make it special, even sacred, to you.

Finally, visiting with Doris reminded me to be grateful for all things. Each day is a gift, and that gift comes as a result of absolutely nothing that you did to deserve it.

Say hello to a stranger.

Go out of your way to do something nice for somebody else.

Smile!

Like the t-shirts and hats say:

Our recent trip to Las Vegas was a business trip. However, my wife, Ginny, and I took advantage of a posh hotel and the Vegas Strip to celebrate our wedding anniversary. With love surrounding us on all sides, we jokingly agreed we’d try marriage for another year!

We stayed at the Ritz Carlton. The photo to the left was the view from our balcony!

We began our stay with a couples’ massage. We stole a few kisses in the massage treatment room while we waited for our therapists. We were then rolfed and pampered while lying side by side in the therapy room. Massage was a good way for us to shake the stress and fatigue of travel while, at the same time, relaxing fully in preparation for enjoying the other amenities of the spa.

After our massages, we peeled ourselves off the table and headed to the spa, where we were greeted with full length terry robes and slippers. Healing Waters was the section of the spa that offered choices of hot whirlpool, cold cascading water, sauna, steam room…all in a relaxing atmosphere with comfortable chairs, large oversized plush towels, ample reading materials and bottled drinks.

As we wound down, we went into the Relaxation Room, filled with all the comforts and personal service and attention for which the Ritz-Carlton is known. In all phases of your stay at one of their hotels, the Ritz-Carlton is much like the famous television show “Cheers “ where everybody knows your name! I don’t know how they do it, but you are greeted every time – throughout your entire stay – by name. This is service you don’t mind paying for!

After relaxing a bit more, we were off to one of the hotel restaurants where we treated ourselves to the desires of our hungry hearts (and stomaches)! Afterwards, we listened to some live outdoor music on the hotel grounds and thanked each other for finding in the other a true partner for life…

I wish the same sort of loving relationship for each of you and, also, time away from daily life now and then, amidst luxurious surroundings. These are things that were a part of the desires I had for my life. I learned how to reach them and I’ve never been happier.

Do you have desires for YOUR life? Let me show you how to reach them. It IS possible. You DO deserve to have the life of YOUR dreams!

Sincerely,

Scott

…more than what?

Nuttin’ counts more than family.

Nuttin’ means more than relationships.

When you have wonderful family relationships, you are living a life with exceeding blessing.

I hope you don’t tire of my references to my two children, Andy and Katie. They were visiting for three weeks and things just aren’t the same now that they’re gone - the house seems so empty.

While here, Andy, now 17, wanted to take some time to test drive a few cars that he has his starry eyes upon. Katie enjoyed tennis lessons and lap swimming with dad, and some - more than occasional - shopping. What teenage girl goes without shopping while on vacation? More than anything, though, our time was filled with the fun and contentment that just plain being together brings.

Our annual fireworks show attracted even a larger neighborhood crowd than last year…and we gave them quite a show that was long on both color and sound. Some of the crowd favorites were the Toot & Twirl, Shagadellic Mojo, Chinese New Year, mortars and oversized bottle rockets. We’re already making plans for next year!

Just as I enjoy my relationships with my children, I am having a great time getting to know so many of YOU – our g-r-o-w-i-n-g family. Thanks to the many who have taken time to complete the FREE Coaching Evaluation. I appreciate your honesty and I’m enjoying offering tips that will take you down the path of YOUR desires.

Currently, my wife, Ginny, and I are preparing to leave on Thursday the 24^th for a Mastermind Conference in Las Vegas. While there, we will be celebrating our wedding anniversary. The conference is being held at the Ritz-Carleton and we’ll be taking advantage of a couple’s massage and some fancy dining on the big day/evening!

Being a HUGE Beatles fan, we will be taking in “Love” performed to the music of The Beatles by Cirque du Soleil at the Mirage Hotel located on the Vegas strip. I saw the show while there last summer for a conference and can’t wait to see it again. The show is first class and is filled with fabulous music, costumes, movement and scenery.

I trust you are taking time this summer for relaxation, vacationing and fun.

On top of that, though, here’s a special invitation from me to take advantage of a FREE teleseminar that I’m offering to my subscribers on Thursday, July 31. I have carefully chosen the topic:

Discovering YOUR True Beauty: How God Sees You.

I selected this topic based on the number of women who have told me they feel they aren’t “enough.” That they feel they’re not a good enough spouse, friend, neighbor,etc. They wonder if anyone finds them attractive anymore… There are lots of issues dealing with self-esteem and self worth and I want to address them.

It’s so important that you, as a woman, know how beautiful you truly are!

So I want to allow you to take a look at yourself through the eyes of your Creator. Don’t miss this. It’s FREE and I promise it will be a blessing in your life.

You owe it to yourself to be there. YOU DESERVE to be there.

Be there for YOU and start on your journey towards the life you desire!

REGISTER NOW!

My wife Ginny had her gall bladder removed last week. While we think of that as a relatively minor procedure these days, nevertheless, being placed under general anesthesia, having a hole made in your abdomen and an internal organ being yanked out through that hole, causes some degree of discomfort and strain on even the strongest of individuals. As I cared for and supported Ginny through this surgery, we have been grateful for the friends and family members who have exhibited so much genuine care and concern during this time of recovery.

One loving demonstration of care came from our friend, Suzee. Suzee is a retired midwife who now owns a massage therapy practice. While phone calls from well wishers were greatly appreciated, Suzee’s care for our household was especially helpful.

Suzee took it upon herself to lovingly prepare a meal for our family the day of Ginny’s procedure. We were so pleased by her generosity and would have been happy with even a meal purchased from the deli at the grocery store. What we got was something quite different and unexpected.

The entrée was a homemade chicken pot pie, baked in a deep and beautiful stoneware bowl. The crust was flaky and the meat and vegetables inside were plentiful and delectable. Also included was a plateful of fresh (as in from her garden) offering of tomatoes and cukes. Using fresh blueberries (again from her own garden), Suzee put together a fresh fruit salad that tasted so amazing, we could have made a meal out of that alone. For dessert, we had freshly baked brownies – with a choice of plain or walnut!

Adding a touch that only a woman can add (see why I work with women…you’re so caring and creative!!), the entire meal was placed in a beautiful basket along with a huge arrangement of fresh flowers from (you guessed it) Suzee’s garden.

So what’s the point of this little tale? To make you hungry? Actually, I felt compelled to pass this along because it’s a perfect example of the power and intent of showing love to those in need, or those for whom you care. Suzee is a really nice person and a great friend, but her act of kindness is more about God’s or Spirit’s (or however you choose to label or define it) love coming through Suzee. This is the focal point.

I have often heard others claim to see no tangible evidence of the presence of a higher power in our world today. While all things come from God, they often come to us through other people. We are all meant to spread this love and care around to others.

This is really the basis of our Honest To God Coaching program. We offer a support system, compassionate guidance and love as we reach out to make the lives of our women clients be all they CAN be and all they are MEANT to be.

I’m not as good a cook as our friend Suzee, however my sensitivity and true desire to help YOU realize how desperately the world needs you – are right out of MY garden. These things come fresh and plentiful from me to YOU!